After having a mild breakdown today while talking to a Professor, I've begun to think more about sports injuries and how they affect an athlete's psyche. There has to be something in one's chemistry that makes them so passionate about a certain aspect of their life that they can't imagine living without it. I guess that's what hockey was for me.
It seems stupid and childish that I still find myself crying (or at least wanting to cry) whenever I think about not being able to play competitive hockey ever again, but now I finally realize that I'm not the only one who has had to overcome the emotional pain of walking away. For awhile I refused to accept that my injuries weren't healing and tried to play anyway. I suppose this was counterproductive because now the memories of my last season on the ice are of a horrible wins record and a despicable GAA.
The first person that I thought of who has gone through the same things is Cedar Rapids hockey director Kevin Brooks. I see him on the ice skating all the time with the kids and coaching. In my mind I still see Kevin playing hockey just as I did when I was a 12-year-old fan of his, but in truth he is actually retired from the sport because of multiple concussions. For some reason I had never stopped to think that he's gone through the same feelings that I have.
For us, hockey isn't just a game. It's always been a way of life. The one constant that you're always working towards and you don't even think twice about until it's gone. I still wake up in the mornings at 6 a.m. to run and lift weights. I still (try) to watch my diet. I still do skating drills and use the BOSU ball to quicken my butterfly. Training becomes a part of you and losing the game leaves a void in your heart. It's hard to explain until you're there...and in hockey it's not a rare occurrence.
Take the hockey great Al Macinnis' story as an example. His career ended with an eye injury. I bet he didn't see that coming.
Alright that was a horrible joke. Just had to lighten the mood.
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